You may find it strange that I share caves with bears in the winter
Or that I lived in the faraway land of Turkey for kicks,
Not the Turkey you know--the one on planet Pluto!
You won’t believe that I robbed banks at the age of 12
Or that I was bitten by a wombat three years later.
But I hope that you acknowledge that I had the best orgasm in history
And that I created a Helter Skelter cult that killed at random
As I explored the greenest parts of South America with fellow university students.
I am Charles Manson
And I love my Vietnamese boyfriend.
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